Colin Miller Discusses Losin’ and Honoring a Lost Friend

Powerful insight is typical of Colin Miller’s talent for relatable observation, and what drives his musical tribute to his lost mentor, Gary King.

Losin’ Colin Miller Mtn Laurel Recording Co. 25 April 2025

Asheville, North Carolina-based singer-songwriter Colin Miller’s latest record, Losin’, was written in the shadow of his friend Gary King’s passing. Miller became King’s caretaker in his final years, living in a home on King’s property and tending to his day-to-day needs for care and friendship. Losin’ is Miller’s way of working through his grief, but it is not a downer; instead, it is a warm, inviting collection of songs brought to life with support from Miller’s friends in Wednesday and MJ Lenderman‘s band. Even though the record is about Miller’s attempts to grieve his friend, he considered listeners finding a way to relate to his work. 

“I have listened to records about people’s grief that were so crushing that I never wanted to listen to them again. It made me think about how that might have been something the writer needed. Mine is just about me really missing a friend,” Miller says.   

That powerful insight is typical of Miller’s talent for relatable observation and what drives Losin’. It is a collection of memories that act as a wake of sorts for King, stories of the time he and Miller spent together, punctuated by moments of plaintive, profound sadness that will feel familiar to anyone who’s been through losing someone.

One of the most heartbreaking and relatable moments on the record is the opening lines of “Lost Again”, where Miller sings, “I don’t need another Christmas morning / I don’t need another birthday picture cake / I just need you here for a second / One last roman candle skipping across the lake.” He has a remarkable gift for crafting a sneakily devastating line. Another gut-punch is “Excuse me if I look like I lost my best friend.”

We prepare ourselves for events like a person’s passing and funeral, but these unexpected moments often hit the hardest and catch us the most off guard. However, we also have the stories that keep the person’s memory alive, those moments that catch us off guard and end in a laugh rather than a tear. That is what sets Losin’ apart; the collection isn’t a tear-stained, somber elegy for King.

“Our culture has a really bad way of approaching grief and funerals. Being at a funeral and cracking a joke is often frowned upon, but it is often the one part the person you’re there to celebrate would have approved of. I have been to so many funerals where it’s somber and sad, and we all say to each other, ‘They would have hated this.’ I didn’t want to write something like that,” Miller notes. “My grandfather passed last year, too, and it has been comforting to revisit the stories I remember, and to have those emerge naturally in conversation,” Miller says.

Colin Miller grew up around caretakers, so caring for King came naturally. “Gary literally lived 50 footsteps from my front door. I knew he would call me if he needed something, and I knew he’d also call me if he were bored. I did feel out of depth many times, but I was able to get in touch with people who knew what to do. It was a beautiful, but very intense experience,” he shares.  

People who have been through similar caregiving situations can appreciate how, sometimes, this role is simply about being there. “A lot of it was just being on call to be a supportive person to Gary. I’d get his groceries and change out his oxygen tanks. The community of people I was part of was all trying to keep Gary comfortable and ensure he wasn’t lonely,” Miller explains. “It is definitely a testament to who Gary was. He cared for all these people so deeply that they would want to care for him, too.”

He continues, “For me, making Losin’ was about the ritual of grief. Everyone has to drive their own car on this journey. We all experience it in a different way, ultimately, and this is my way of dealing with grief. I started writing it as soon as I felt grief starting to take hold, and it is a living document of that time.”

It was also important to Miller that Losin’ could connect with listeners, too. “I just wanted to make songs that I like the way they sound. Ideally, songs should be able to sit inside a Venn diagram of different feelings and meet people where they are, regardless of the inspiration for the song. I wanted to hold to that idea, that these songs could have a different meaning for other people.”

Even if they don’t read the lyrics. “[The Police classic] ‘Every Breath You Take’ being a couple’s wedding dance song has always been funny to me. Musically, it sounds like a good fit, but those lyrics!” he laughs. “I hope that any song I write can go into different places. You put a song out, and it ultimately becomes its own thing. I hope that the songs go to a fitting place.”

As brilliantly executed as Losin’ is, Miller did not set out to write a record about his grief. “I had all these lyrics and these musical ideas. I figured I should just see what comes out of them. All I knew for sure was that I wanted to have a full-length record,” he shares. He looked to some of his favorite pastimes with King for inspiration. “I would just put on classic Daytona 500 races and work.”

Later, the demos were recorded in Wyoming at Miller’s brother’s house while he was dog-sitting. “I got a guitar from a pawn shop and spent the time shaping the songs. Setting deadlines for myself was a new part of my process. I could work undistracted there because my visit coincided with a polar vortex. All I could do was get groceries and beer and work on the songs.”

Colin Miller will be doing double duty this spring and summer, opening for MJ Lenderman and playing in the Wind. That feels like a good way for Miller to honor Losin’ and King. “I might feel like I’d want to go out on the road on my own if I wasn’t in a band that’s touring so much, but I had a few days off between dates with Jake’s band and I am really excited to play these songs on those shows,” he says. “Playing the songs live for audiences night after night can have its own therapeutic value. More than anything, I just wanted to put this record out and give it the respect it deserves.”